This is the first time I have been able to write in about a month and a half. for many reasons. I can't bring myself to it, and I don't have time.

if you read the title, you will understand my predicament. On top of college applications and homework, I am directing the fall musical review, writing songs, rowing and traveling like crazy. My days are much like a mountain range, I start off strong and end terribly weak. I have extremely good days and extremely bad ones, right next to each other. I am with a huge crowd of people and then I am thrust into solidarity. I have never been good with change--of any kind. I almost feel like the world was not meant to change. And so this election year will be hard. Knowing that whoever gets into office will change this country, and change the way I live in it. I am looking at these candidates with more skepticism than ever--knowing that I will be affected directly by these changes, and that my future will be changed because of it.

That is the amazing thing about faith. When the world changes, one this remains constant. The only constant in my life has been Him. And time after time i reach for Him, hoping that He will take me back just one more time. That He will hold me forever in His keep. It is hard to live in a world where the one's surrounding you question Him, and try to disprove Him. i will not be moved. i will not leave Him. for when the rest of the world walks out, i will stand in front of Him. just me. in all my terrible sin and pain. and beg Him to change me.

My mind has been bringing me back to a verse from Ecclesiastes....my favorite book in the Bible. I grew up quickly, not having much of a childhood or the mindset of a child. This speaks to my heart, "Live footloose and fancy free. You won't be young forever! Youth lasts about as long as smoke. Honor and enjoy your Creator while you are still young" (11:10-12:1).

I leave you with this thought,
             Be who you are, practice it. Praise the Lord no matter the weather, for He will perfect your heart in His image. Live life for Him all the time. Pray without ceasing. Love without end. Cast your vote, and may the will of God choose the right person.

i remember those sleepless nights,
kate linn

this week has flipped my entire world upside down.
    normally, I am not sick. but Friday night, I felt the worst I had in years. And it didn't let up. So as Monday morning came around, Tylenol and Aspirin wasn't cutting it. I ventured into the doctors and after two hours of scanning, listening, watching and prying, they come back with a three infections. bronchitis, sinus and a scientific word for stomach. They put me on some pain killing antibiotics. normally, I am not cold. I was freezing in 80 degree weather. running a fever of about 102. And so I sit, watching crappy chick flick movie marathons on labor day, when normal families are barbecuing and spending time together; I am asleep downstairs with Clare and my parents are rebuilding the deck.

    normally, I fight back. normally, I worry. but my faith has grown so much in the past year that I gave everything I had to God. Rejoice in the Lord always. I will. This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. I praised Him in this storm. He is my nurturer. My protector. My rescuer. I am proud of Him.

    normally, I am a busy-body. normally, I am guilt-stricken if I stop moving. but I have found the joy in allowing myself to heal and to rest. I am reminded of the care I need, even when others need too. I have realized that my soul is not my body. I don't take anything with me, but my soul. Normally, I would question that. but today, I am happy to feel good enough to type.
   
    normally, I would become frustrated with the world. but I am appreciating it more. the small things. sunshine, crickets, even barking dogs. clare has been my companion over these long days, when she is normally just bugging me.

    normal, you say. how is she normal? two words. I'm not. none of God's children are normal. He never defines it. only society does. so if I live by God, not by society, then I cannot be "normal".

so I ask of you: keep me in your prayers. and the Hurricane affected areas, for now and tomorrow. and the and the Troops that continue to serve. and the Presidential candidates and their families. and your family. and yourself.
realize that this is a joyous day-- because God has made it. because you are alive to receive it. realize that it's the easiest thing you've done all day. I'll pray for those things too. normally.

for those who can't find the strength to stand,
kate linn

inspired. truly.

way back in may, a good friend of mine provoked a good question out of me after he debated how he wasn't detached from anyone or anything. i asked, if you are not detached, then to what are you attached?

He took a full month to answer. I am still working on it. I thought long and hard about what I could attach to, without be judgmental towards myself. I am attached to my family. My friends. Internet. Wide Open Spaces and Simple Beauty......but maybe they are not attachments. When I went to look up a definition, I couldn't find a legitimate defining of any form of "attach". The best I could do is "having a personal tie to", which Webster (my old stand-by) happily provided (via Internet). My definition: having a strong connection towards something that proves an individual not being able to survive without.

It sounds terrible but I understand that I may have to live without my family. I wouldn't enjoy it. But I would survive. My friends are constantly changing, if the Truth be told. Internet--material. Wide Open Spaces-- preferred but not critical. Simple Beauty...too much of a good thing gets boring.

God. unchanging. all-knowing. eternal life. attachment! i couldn't survive without Him. I wouldn't even be here without Him. It really made me think hard about my whole perspective on life. I have a split second in time here in the history of the world. I can be fairly assured that I will not be incredibly famous, in any textbook, set world records or break Gold Medal standings. But in the eyes of my Creator, I am one in infinity. The only one He makes of me. Ever.

So in this season of new school years, in new schools, with new friends, I pray that we all remember the true attachment we hold. He misses you. Give Him a call sometime. And ask Him the tough questions. He knows everything. Why not?

you opened blinded eyes to see that the sun rises in Your time,
kate linn
Just a little "simple beauty" for your day...from my trip to Elon and UNC: Asheville.